this is me: a single lady but in love. how can that be? i am head over heels in love with my Savior Jesus.
"oh yeah, yeah.. whatever..."
oh but you misunderstand. even if [yes if] i get married [because it is not my highest aim right now] i know that i will not be completely filled even with my husband. i will not be completely satisfied even in my role as a wife. no, it first must come from a love relationship with Jesus because i am so experiencing right now that He must be the only One who satisfies. gahh its not always a fun place to be. but othertimes He is better than any best-date-in-the-world night.
aiming for marriage seemed like something i had my eyes REALLY set on.. hey, its not a bad thing. bahahabahaha.
but now.. my focus is switching. my focus and desires are TRULY being [slowly, bit-by-bit] surrendered on the altar for His flames to consume. if marriage is part of His plan for me, then He is going to have to make it work because there have been friendships with guys that I would have been interested in getting to know so I talked to them.. and nothing came of it. which is for a purpose, but isn't that interesting?
my brothers at the HA were just so great. i miss having guy friendships like that in my life. it was not weird or anything because the intentions were clear: no dating until after the internship. so that made things easier because if something appeared sketch.. it probably wasn't.
so yeah. it is such a different yet beautiful season in my life right now. singleness seems so dreaded and sure, its not all fun, but oh. the lessons one learns is priceless.
