Closed doors, open mind.

This is something I wrote that is a picture of my mind right now.

Send me to the places, Lord,
where the people live in search of more
Yes, God. send me out.

Send me to the place, Oh God,
where the people shudder at the thought
That's me! send me out.

Because. I am here. Because.
I need to go. Because.
I'm yours.

Send me to the hardest place,
where the people shall become changed
For good. send me out.

Send me as your treasured tool,
for that is how I'll be used
For you. Your hands and feet.



A door was closed to a job that I could get in order to pay off some student loans and then to help get me somewhere overseas to do something. Be it as a tentmaker or as a supported missionary, I am open. Even to the location, I am open, though China is in my future.

But a door was closed and MY plans came to a screeching halt. They were MY way of getting overseas.. but don't you know. that God is always up to something bigger and greater. So I read Psalms 4 today and it was a total focuser for me, which reminded me of who is forever in control.

A verse that everyone knows is "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path..." But notice it: lamp unto my feet.. not a lamp to my eyes so I can see everything.. but a light for my feet so I can walk by faith. I don't always like to walk by faith because who doesn't like to be in control? But Jesus is forever reminding me to let go of control over and over again.. in order so that HE can lead me into HIS amazing plans.

it's all about Him.

I am ::home::

After my adventure across the sea to Thailand, I am now home. It was an amazing 8 weeks that changed me in ways I did not expect. We say that "I am going to change the world! I am going to do things amazing for God." But, hmm. God loves it when we are in that place to shake the world but then He also uses our expectant little hearts to display His wonder and glory through us. Everything that was done this summer was 1000000% because He ordained and made it happen! Isn't that comforting to know that He was behind everything, and is still continually and forever at work in our lives?

It is for me. Because then it helps me to know that I don't need to have everything worked out. And there were so many days that I set up appts. to meet with people at the univerisity and they didn't show up. But in the end, guess what? A girl I got SO close to got saved the day before I left and it made me so incredibly excited! We shared the Gospel to her once but she seemed disinterested. I invited her to church though and she came! Jesus got a hold of her life and now the church will follow up!

God was behind it all! We as a team can take no credit for ourselves because if it wasn't for God drawing June to Himself, she would have never decided to believe in Him. One thing I love about the Thai church is that most of the people in Church are sold out for God because the other people are most likely in a Buddhist temple worshiping or they choose not to believe anything at all.

We also saw a guy come to know Jesus at our end-of-the week party! I asked him how he was at church that Sunday and he replied, "I am the best I have ever been!" Jesus got a hold of his heart and he encountered Him! He is already being discipled and is growing in his faith!

There are more cool stories but what encourages me is that my trip did not end on August 5th when I came home. No, God is opening up my eyes to the people around me and most of all.. teaching me a hard lesson of being content here where I am. My heart was made to live overseas and it comes alive when it is there.. but I am also divinely placed back at home for a season of preparation and ministry!

I don't know what my plans are if you were to ask me.. but that is ok! Because most of my plans don't work out anyway haha but His sure do!

So I want to follow those.