i am a broken vessel. Lord can you mend my heart? He is taking things precious from me to in turn draw me closer to him. my best friend katie is moving to Florida tomorrow and I am going to miss her so [incredibly] much.
and just other random happenings have brought brokenness..and questions have risen in my heart.. questions that satan wants to taint and make me believe his lies. makes me want to see an issue as gray and not as black and white. but my heart shall not be distorted. only He can strengthen and sustain me..
psalm 34:18:
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
save mine heart. be near to me.
He's faithful to the end
He's faithful to my heart
He's faithful to the end
He will come and marry me
-cory asbury.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Refinement.
Ouch. my, refinement hurts. snipping off the top of a weed is one thing but tearing up the root is another. i asked jesus today to shake me up and to do something new..and He did. He revealed things to me that I thought were healed..yes, they were scabbed over but He wanted to peel it painfully off so it could heal the right way.
refinement is a process that allows the dross to be removed so the perfect gold can shine.
oh to grace, how great a debtor,
daily i'm constrained to thee.
and let thy goodness like a fetter
bind my [wandering] heart to thee.
jesus, i just want to be like [you]
refinement is a process that allows the dross to be removed so the perfect gold can shine.
oh to grace, how great a debtor,
daily i'm constrained to thee.
and let thy goodness like a fetter
bind my [wandering] heart to thee.
jesus, i just want to be like [you]
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It's freeing!
Proverbs 29: 25 -
"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."
Fear of man seems to grip me a lot. Do I look too young in this, do I look weird? Man, I'm thin..is that ok? People comment a lot on how I look but not much on who I am..why? Thoughts are dumb and just a tool satan uses to speak lies. Because all of the above thoughts are just lies. Many times how I look or how I try to please people is just a result of trying to win their approval and not living to please God and to ultimately fear Him alone.
I normally have long hair or rather aim to have long, beautiful hair that is flawless. But mine is normally wavy, mid-length and ehh. But I really do enjoy ultimately having short hair. It is bouncy, fun and it just works for me. [but I always appear to look even more younger than I already am..so I don't wear it short that much. fear of man. what the heck?!]
So I got it cut short. and I like it. a lot. I find my personality is in it instead of 'trying' to grow it long when I know it will never be like I want it. so it is freeing not trying to please others..even though I am totally bound for the 'are you still in high school' or 'you look like my 13 year old sister' comments. oh well. I am amazingly content with who I am. so I am ok.
Another refreshing thing that I read today was in Psalm 68. [I haven't wanted to go overseas like full time because I was concerned about being lonely, coming home early, burning out, etc...] WELL. The Bible is great and I found a promise to cling to today.
Psalm 68:6 -
God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
He SETS [intricately places] the LONELY [umm me?] in families [a group of people]. Is that not delectable, such a feast to dine on. wow. I was happy to read it because it spoke so directly to me. Hey, I might go overseas with muh mann, but if not. there will be a family for God to place me in.. maybe they have a single son? bahahaha oh wait, that is beside the point! But Jesus has plans. amazing plans in store so it was just comforting to read.
It has been a good week and today has been a retreat of rest! I am working tomorrow and the weekend so I gave myself off.. I haven't done much but watch a movie and refocus my gaze on Jesus..but hey. those are the best kind of days.
"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."
Fear of man seems to grip me a lot. Do I look too young in this, do I look weird? Man, I'm thin..is that ok? People comment a lot on how I look but not much on who I am..why? Thoughts are dumb and just a tool satan uses to speak lies. Because all of the above thoughts are just lies. Many times how I look or how I try to please people is just a result of trying to win their approval and not living to please God and to ultimately fear Him alone.
I normally have long hair or rather aim to have long, beautiful hair that is flawless. But mine is normally wavy, mid-length and ehh. But I really do enjoy ultimately having short hair. It is bouncy, fun and it just works for me. [but I always appear to look even more younger than I already am..so I don't wear it short that much. fear of man. what the heck?!]
So I got it cut short. and I like it. a lot. I find my personality is in it instead of 'trying' to grow it long when I know it will never be like I want it. so it is freeing not trying to please others..even though I am totally bound for the 'are you still in high school' or 'you look like my 13 year old sister' comments. oh well. I am amazingly content with who I am. so I am ok.
Another refreshing thing that I read today was in Psalm 68. [I haven't wanted to go overseas like full time because I was concerned about being lonely, coming home early, burning out, etc...] WELL. The Bible is great and I found a promise to cling to today.
Psalm 68:6 -
God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
He SETS [intricately places] the LONELY [umm me?] in families [a group of people]. Is that not delectable, such a feast to dine on. wow. I was happy to read it because it spoke so directly to me. Hey, I might go overseas with muh mann, but if not. there will be a family for God to place me in.. maybe they have a single son? bahahaha oh wait, that is beside the point! But Jesus has plans. amazing plans in store so it was just comforting to read.
It has been a good week and today has been a retreat of rest! I am working tomorrow and the weekend so I gave myself off.. I haven't done much but watch a movie and refocus my gaze on Jesus..but hey. those are the best kind of days.
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